It is extremely difficult for me to talk about this, but I have decided to let Jesus be glorified in my weakness, and to let Him use my past and my experience to further His Kingdom by communicating the amazing and saving truth of His Word.
If you are not a Christian, I pray that you will read this with an open mind and evaluate your own beliefs and do your own research on Christianity and the Bible. Our faith is not a blind faith. There is plenty of evidence and validation and I encourage you to seek it.
First off, I want to make clear that I am not writing this with the intent of condemning anyone. I genuinely care about the issue of homosexuality and the people who live the gay lifestyle. If I didn’t care I would not be saying anything. Everything in me wants to stay silent about this. I want to fit in with the “Christian community”, and have avoided speaking out about homosexuality because I don’t want that stigma attached to me when people look at me or think of me. But I’ve realized I can’t do something so incredibly selfish. I’ve lived a gay lifestyle, and God poured out His grace on me to show me the truth, and I am obligated to share that truth with others.
Chances are, you know someone who is gay, or maybe you are yourself. My entire life, as far back as I can remember, I’ve been attracted to the same sex. I hid it for years, not “coming out” until I was 20, in August of 2009.
The current culture in America has portrayed homosexuality to be as natural as heterosexuality, and that’s what I eventually grew to think as well. I decided that I wasn’t going to deny who I really was anymore; I was going to embrace my sexuality and enjoy my life.
For over a year I lived an openly gay lifestyle. Everyone knew. And I’ll have to tell you that with the exception of my dad telling me it was wrong, I was completely supported by everyone and my lifestyle was condoned. I had never felt more accepted in my life! I was never depressed or unhappy anymore, my life was now full of fun and excitement all the time!
Then one night in September of 2010, my life was changed radically. Jesus Christ decided that it was time for me to come to Him.
Nothing bad happened (there was no rock bottom for me). I was just out on a regular Saturday night, drunk and dancing. Around 3am I had a thought come into my mind which struck me so hard I stopped dead in my tracks. The thought (if you want to call it a voice, you can) was addressing me in 3rd person. It was, “Matt, what are you doing?”.. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I immediately stopped dancing, left the bar, and have never been back.
I had never identified myself as “Christian”. I didn’t deny God, I just honestly never thought about Him. I was so caught up in myself and my life that He never crossed my mind in the slightest. God, Jesus, Christianity, the Bible were all completely foreign thoughts to me. But little did I know that this event, the thought I had at the gay bar, would be God calling me to Himself.
I wanted Him. I desired Him. I sought Him.
I told my Christian friends, that I didn’t know if being gay was right or wrong, but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from seeking Jesus Christ. I wasn’t going to take anyone’s word about the issue (I’m stubborn like that), I was just going to let God show me the truth about homosexuality. And He did.
I started coming across verses like: (this is just one of many verses pertaining to homosexuality)
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 “….Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral nor idolators nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God”
And then I came across the very next verse:
1 Corinthians 6:11 “And this is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God”
I started to see that even 2,000 years ago there were homosexuals, like me, who were turned away from homosexual behavior by the grace of God. It was then that God started to open my eyes to the truth about being “gay”. Homosexuality is no greater than any other sin- like adultery, fornication, etc. Culture has deemed homosexuality “natural”. Because it feels natural. (“ There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death”- Proverbs 14:12) Well, based on that idea, pedophiles would also just be justified in their actions since attraction to children is “natural” for them. Same thing with adultery. Honestly, it’s just a matter of time before our culture decides that pedophilia and adultery are just as “natural” as homosexuality and should be an accepted part of our society.
Homosexuality is not an “identity” unless you make if your identity. It sounds like I’m downplaying the struggle people have with homosexuality, but I assure you I am not. But I must tell you the truth. Homosexuality is sin, just like any other sexual sin, and Jesus has commanded that we repent from our sin. When you say that you were “born this way”, you’re absolutely right… because we are all born sinners into this world. That is why Jesus said that unless we be born again, we will never see the Kingdom of God (John 3).
The common argument presented by the pro-gay “christian” community is “Well, in the bible it says that a man lying with a man is an abomination, but that’s in Leviticus in the old testament. We don’t live by the old testament anymore, we live by the new testament! We can live a gay lifestyle because Jesus came to free us from the bondage of the Old Testament”.
Number 1- Jesus came to free us from the power of SIN. Not the power of the Bible. His grace does not give us a license to sin, but the ability NOT to sin.
Number 2- When people refer to the old testament, they are referring to the Mosaic Law. There are 3 parts to the Mosaic Law- Ceremonial, Civil, and Moral. Jesus Christ fulfilled the law in His life, death and resurrection. We no longer have to continue to make sacrifices to cover our sins, because He presented Himself as a once and for all sacrifice for sin. But the Moral part of the Law reflects God’s character… God is unchangeable, therefore His morals do not change. The moral part of His law still applies today. But that’s besides the point, because there is plenty of scripture in the new testament that says the same thing about homosexuality- it is sin.
God has not changed over time, people have changed.
Just because we feel a certain way or think a certain way does not mean that our feelings are right. God flooded the earth the first time because when He looked down He saw that all of the thoughts of man were wicked and continually evil (Genesis 6:5). This may seem drastic to some, but it is because we are so blinded by our sin we have no idea how evil we really are. Without the grace and Spirit of God, we are completely messed up: our thoughts, our desires, our feelings, our actions. We must cling to a truth that is outside of ourselves, which is the Word of God (I won’t go on an apologetic spill right now, but I do encourage you to look at the evidence for the inerrancy of the bible yourselves).
I am not writing this with the intent of “convincing” you to believe what I am saying, because no person can do that. Only God can open your eyes to truth. I am only here to present that truth. I am not saying that you are changed from “gay to straight”. That’s not even the point. “The opposite of homosexuality isn’t heterosexuality, it’s holiness.”- Trace Mcnutt.
Like any sin, if you struggle with homosexuality, it is likely you will always struggle with it to some degree. But I can tell you from my own personal experience, that when you genuinely seek God and His truth, homosexuality will no longer have the hold on you that it did before.
If you are a practicing homosexual, the truth is that you will not go to Heaven if you die before you ever truly repent of it. If we are truly saved and converted, we will not continue on in a lifestyle of sin. Read 1 John. Someone can not be a practicing “gay Christian”. That’s not my opinion, that’s God’s truth.
If you are without Christ on the day that you stand before God, you will receive judgement. You are not going to look back on your life and care about the way that you “felt” and what you “thought” was right. You are only going to care about the truth that could have saved your soul, and you will curse the person who you know knew the real truth, and never warned you. I cannot bear the guilt of having anyone’s blood on my hands. I know that I will be misjudged by people for speaking out about this, and probably persecuted for it. But I can endure whatever is thrown at me with the hope that at least one person who may be struggling with homosexuality comes to Christ. That is the only thing that matters. God, Your will be done, not mine.
There are more people that struggle with homosexuality than we know. There are those who secretly struggle with it and never speak out about it. I want to tell you, if that’s you, you need to talk about it. And I offer myself as that person to you, if you really want to talk. You have my word that it will never go beyond us.
There is so much confusion over homosexuality because the church in whole has done a poor job in addressing the issue. I get extremely frustrated when people water the gospel down by removing parts that are hard to talk about, like sin. But I want to tell you, that regardless of your sexual attractions, the gospel of Jesus Christ is the power of salvation to anyone that believes! If God can forgive me, I assure you, He can forgive you.
The grace of God is so much stronger than any sin that may have a hold on you. I am living, walking proof of that. He will pour His mercy and grace on those who truly surrender to Him, and repent of their sins. If there’s any advice I could give you it’s : Don’t trust your heart. Don’t trust your feelings and thoughts. Don’t trust what other people say (parents, doctors, scientists, preachers). God said, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is He”- Proverbs 23:7. Please, do not trust your own thoughts and hold onto a false hope of being saved if you’ve never truly repented. Christ is willing to forgive anyone who comes to Him and believes in His Name.