In this post I’m not attempting to provide all the answers, but am only geared at sharing with you all my most toilsome struggle…. doubtfulness. This isn’t something I’ve written about much, but being that I desire to be as transparent as possible… I feel like it’s time I should.
My conversion was only two years ago (although it feels like an eternity) and I clearly remember the immediate joy, peace and unexplainable contentment I had. But I also remember within days of my newfound love for God there was also a dark and heavy presence in my mind. The best way I know how to describe it is as doubt. My mind was being bombarded with fears and thoughts like “none of this is real” or “God doesn’t really exist”, etc; but at the same time I wanted God and I thought that I believed in Him. It was absolutely horrific. I would talk to my few Christian friends about my doubts and chaotic thoughts, but it just didn’t seem like they understood what I was saying. I don’t think that they had ever experienced anything like what I was going through, and I am thankful that they hadn’t. But I felt so alone, trapped in my mind… unable to escape the fear of my own thoughts… they plagued me constantly.
Never, in the midst of all my doubts, did I want to go back to my previous sinful lifestyle… and I thank God for His grace in keeping me from wanting to return to my sin-filled life. I never wanted to leave God or turn away from Him…. I was just scared to death that He wasn’t who He said He was. I was scared that all those soul-anchoring promises in the Bible weren’t true or didn’t apply to me. I was scared that I didn’t have Him.
Although the Lord has graciously worked in my heart and granted me increasing levels of assurance since the time of my conversion, doubt is still something that I struggle with to a large degree. Most would assume that lust would be my biggest battle, but my fight with lust is minuscule compared to my fight with doubt and unbelief. Actually, I don’t even think that I would compare the two sins side by side like that. I believe that my struggles with other sins in my life, like sexual lust, actually stem from the black hole of unbelief in my heart.
Most of the time… I literally feel crazy. Borderline schizophrenic. There’s a war taking place inside of my heart and mind constantly between light and darkness, truth and falsity, trust and fear. Because I have thoughts like, “Is Jesus really who the Bible said He was?”, I find myself really contemplating whether or not my professed faith in Christ is even genuine. That’s a scary thought, huh? The possibility that I’m doing all of these “good things” in His name without real faith in Him is absolutely terrifying. Yet, for reasons that I can’t pinpoint or explain, I do believe that I am His. I do believe that in the very core of my being, beyond my intellect, I do trust, know and believe Jesus Christ. I thank the Holy Spirit for this blessed assurance.
When I realized pretty early on that my doubts were not going to instantaneously disappear, I decided to be real with both myself and God about them. It took me a few months to really come humbly before God and say, “I doubt You”… but I did. From that moment I felt like I started making headway in this struggle rather than being stuck in the mud of my own inabilities. It’s like God was like, “Matt, I already knew that you doubted me. I know you don’t trust Me as you should. But I wanted you to come to Me with your fears, so I could walk you through them.”
I’ve always found it weird that although the thoughts in my mind often clash with the truth of who the Bible says that God is, I still come to Him with it. Broken and distraught I may be, but I come to Him. Logically, you would think that if a person was doubting the claims of Christianity and the Bible, that they would just completely reject it and start looking into other “sources” for God and for truth– or they may just forget about the whole idea of there being a god and return to a life of menial tasks and hobbies. I mean, it happens all the time all across the world, right? People have the same doubtful thoughts that I have, and flee from the God of Christianity.
But I haven’t. Why?
Because the Holy Spirit has given me a desire for God that is bigger than my doubts about God.
I would love for God to snap His fingers and make all my thoughts flow perfectly in line with His truth. I would love for Him to magically make all my doubts disappear and place my mind in joyous, continual submission to His Word with no second-guessing. Actually, my preference would be for Jesus to come down from heaven and talk to me physically face to face on a daily basis. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened yet. But like I say all the time, if God allows us to struggle with a certain weakness or “thorn in the flesh” for a season, it is most certainly for our good in the greater scheme of things. Although my mind may not work in the simplicity of trust that I wish it would right now, the Holy Spirit has given me insight through the Word of God into what exactly is taking place inside of me when I have all these doubts and how to effectively battle it.
It’s impossible to wrap my mind around goes on in my mind… which is why I am so thankful that God has given us truth in a visible, tangible and concrete form– the Word of God– to tell us what the heck is wrong with us. The Bible lays out for us not only the truth of mankind’s universal, sinful sickness…. but also the reality of the Christian’s double-nature. I do have a new, regenerated heart that believes God and wants to submit to God (which was birthed in me by the Holy Spirit), but I simultaneously inhabit flesh that hates God. My heart, my spirit, wants to fully trust God with all of my being without skipping a beat….. but my flesh, my sin-stained mind, thoughts and emotions… wants to do everything but that. My flesh wants to contain all knowledge and possess ultimate control. My flesh is self-reliant, self-centered and self-exalting.
My flesh wants to be God.
You can see (and have probably experienced) how the strain between these two internal realities can be overwhelming…. but the realization of what’s really going on inside one’s self brings the light of understanding to the darkness of confusion. I have these unwanted thoughts, doubts and fears when it comes to Jesus Christ because somewhere still within the depravity of my human soul my conscience still says “Matt is ultimate. Matt is all-wise. Matt is all-knowing. Matt is the decider of what is or isn’t truth.”
Pride, right? Right.
You see, what I need to really understand, deep within my soul, is that Jesus is not the One who is on trial here… I am. We all are. It’s not up to debate whether Jesus is or isn’t who He claimed to be. Jesus is who He is. We are the one’s that will be judged for what we do with His self-revealed identity.
I think I just wanted to write this to let all you other “secret doubters” out there know that you aren’t alone… and to help you to see that you are the flawed one, not Jesus. Rather than doubting Jesus so much, try doubting your doubts. The Scripture says that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our minds…this renewal is a marathon, not a sprint. We have to be diligent, disciplined and rigorous in our pursuit of Christ….. regardless of what kind of ungodly, carnal thoughts our flesh is throwing at us. If you’re doubting God… keep seeking Him. Your doubts don’t negate your faith. Chances are, if you didn’t really have faith in Christ, you wouldn’t care enough to have doubts either.
The Holy Spirit will strengthen and teach us. He strengthens me, comforts me and sustains me daily.
We must persevere…. in faith.
Doubt comes from satan and his demons. I am coming from a similar situation and I have experienced this firsthand. The more progress I make, the more the doubt comes. The fiery darts from the enemy are a sure sign of progress. When the attack comes I grab the Bible and/or listen to some good teachings and the doubt fades. These nasty attacks build strength, but they are not enjoyable. The attacks come because as you get closer to Jesus and the truth, satan sees the threat and attempts to divert. Satan forgets that he has been defeated.
I don’t struggle with doubt, but rebellion. My heart for some reason just wants to rebel against God. And it can be very discouraging because no matter how much I want to be a Christian, I can’t seem to get my heart on board so I just feel fake and guilty all the time. I don’t want to keep having a faith that is so forced and insincere.
Matt when I was young, I was taught that once I accepted CHRIST that the Devil would be at war and tell me I wasn’t really saved, It was all me, it is just a fairy tale. Thankfully this helped me to see it was not doubt, but Satan trying to take me back. Even so as years went by and I was disappointed in an unanswered prayer I ask my Dad “How do you KNOW GOD is real.” After his replies and explanations to calm my doubt and fears he told me ”Sometimes we just have to rely on Faith. Faith in not knowing how BUT knowing that HE is real and will do as HE has promised. You are still growing in your walk with GOD. HE is teaching you along the way. Your human side has trouble realizing how GOD exists. Your Spirit knows and is wanting to follow GOD. This is spiritual warfare and Satan is taunting the human side to question and doubt. So you just keep on believing and tell Satan out loud you have decided to follow GOD and he is not welcome here. “So flee in the NAME OF JESUS.” He will take off with his tail between his legs for he has no doubt about who GOD is.
Matt, thanks once again for your honesty and transparency. All I can say is that Satan wants you back in a big way!!!!! You know that all those lies filling your head are of him. Jesus Christ has chosen you and you have answered His call. AMEN!!!!
Matt,
You can not avoid challenges to your Christian faith. Sometimes Christians who are challenged begin to doubt their faith. Challenges to your faith should not produce doubts. They should be looked upon as mere difficulties in understanding, and difficulties can be overcome through study and prayer
It has been said that ten thousand difficulties do not make one doubt—a good point to keep in mind.
To doubt means to be unsure whether a belief is true; to have a difficulty means to know the belief is true but to be unsure just what it means or why it is true. This unsureness can be overcome
When mathematicians have difficulties doing their calculations, they don’t allow their difficulties to turn into doubts about the established truths of mathematics. Instead, they study harder and learn more about mathematics so they can understand how its parts fit together. So it is with the Christian faith.
If we want to observe all that our Lord commanded, if we want to believe all He taught, we must open ourselves up to His Truth. This is our great challenge—and our great joy.
Francesco Davide
As a brother-in Christ once said to me, God actually allows doubts to take place so that He can strengthen our faith in Him. So doubt is part of out human nature. It doesn’t mean that we disbelieve in His abilities. It just means it’s part of His plan. Similar to why God allows temptations to take place in our lives. It’s so that we see the need to depend on Him.
Hi Matt – you are so brave and open. I say remember to make yourself pray when you feel any doubt and you will always get the grace you need. I hope you will read this quote I want to share with you. It is over 400 years old believe it or not – I hope it gives you encouragement: “I was all alone without a single friend to give me a word of encouragement. I could neither pray nor read, but there I remained for hours, uneasy in mind and afflicted in spirit on account of the weight of my troubles, and for the fear that perhaps I was being tricked by the devil and wondering what I could do for my relief. Not a gleam of hope seemed to shine upon me from Heaven or earth, except just this: In the midst of all my fears and dangers, I never forgot how Our Lord must be seeing the weight of what I endured. Oh my Lord Jesus Christ, what a true friend you are, and how powerful, for when you wish to be with us, you can be and you always do wish it, if only we receive you.” ~ Teresa of Avila, Autobiography, “The Changeless Friend”, chapter 25
Great post Matt – your courage and honesty is really a blessing! I don’t really have anything to add but would like to recount my own struggle.
I think about this issue a lot – especially of late. I sometimes wonder why other people don’t struggle with this more either when I listen to them talk. They are so full of fears and worries – and yet they claim their faith is rock solid. I feel they are kidding themselves. And then when I gently point out the discrepancy I just get a blank look. A lot of Christians simply don’t seem to make the connection that there is a direct connection between faith and behaviour. If your faith isn’t born out in your behaviour – or even worse, if your behaviour contradicts your faith then surely this should be a reason for concern. If I worry about my future surely that says something about my faith (or lack of it)? If I consider telling an atheist friend of mine that if they truly in their heart of hearts want to find God He will reveal Himself to them I find myself wondering if He will.
And trying to prove God exists on paper doesn’t work. I’ve tried all manner of science, prophetic accuracy and who knows what else to try find some argument before which all resistance from my atheist friends would crumble – all to no avail. (Not to mention how overjoyed I would personally have been to finally find a stick big enough to beat my own doubting mind into submission.) I’m still looking but my heart isn’t in it any more – because I now believe I will continue to fail. Not because God doesn’t exist but because He will not be found that way – on purpose. In fact, I read about it just this morning.
1Co 1:21 For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe.
(And to any atheist reading this – if you think you can disprove God’s existence, you are kidding yourself too.)
And yet, like Matt, at the core of my being I find myself continuing to believe in the midst of my doubts. Whenever I find my faith under attack I always remind myself:
Rom 8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be.
So fleshly mind will resist, no surprises there. And then:
Rom 10:10 For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
And to round it off:
Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding;
And I am reassured. Somewhat. My mind will resist but my heart will overcome – precisely what I’m experiencing. And between them I am left with very little peace. I find myself desperate for more faith and yet unable to do anything about it myself – because God is the author of all faith:
Rom 12:3 For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith.
So God has given me a measure of faith. How much? Enough. As much as is wise. As much as is safe. In His wisdom God has given me precisely the right amount of faith because chances are had He given me more right just now I would have turned into a holier than thou sanctimonious nightmare coming out of the desert. I know perfectly well I have it in me to become like that.
Unless you’ve been formed to handle responsibly that which is a free gift from God there is the danger that you will glory in it to your own destruction and the detriment of fellow believers. Far better for us to be in a position of humble dependence, fully convinced of our own insufficiency. As Matt said: pride is a fearful thing. I am fully convinced that there is no other thing as adept at surviving and coming at you from a new angle than pride. How often have I not turned a corner in my mind and found pride standing there with a smug look on its face? Certainly more times than I care to remember.
But also I have to remind myself that I have yet to encounter any problem for which my faith hasn’t been sufficient to carry me through. The fight might not have been pretty – victorious or face in the dust – but I always came away strengthened, more knowledgeable about God, a bit more cut down to size – and with a dash more faith.
And in all this, how do I know my faith is real?
Rom 5:3-4 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; (4) and perseverance, character; and character, hope.
The Gr. word translated here as ‘character’ simply means ‘proof’. So it is our perseverance in tribulation that provides proof that our faith is genuine – and that gives us hope. I have had struggles and failures aplenty – but not once have I considered giving up or turning left or turning right. The truth that abides in me compels me to keep going forward and trust in God.
And when all else fails, when my feelings scream foul and my intellect folly – I stand on my free will and choose God. Why?
Because when my number was up He has always come through for me.
Matt, boy can I relate, I’ve lived through some of those most horrendous and torturous doubts, at times I thought I was going insane. Especially when going through some of the most “barren” moments, when I didn’t feel the Lord, didn’t hear from Him, couldn’t read His Word for the amount of noise going on within my mind. I was terrorized at times and there was not a person around who could understand nor console me. Sometimes I would want to go back to my old lifestyle, for it was familiar, I would sit in a bar and drink, but weep at the same time for I was so consumed with fear. This was all during a time when the Lord wanted to get rid of some major doctrine of demons, and to teach me NOT to go by my “feelings” but faith.
When you actually look at it all from the Lord’s word, many men who were of God, went through some major doubtful times, but the Lord always delivered them from such, so we are no different from them, we are all of “like passions”, the flesh wars against the Spirit. We all will walk through the “valley of the shadow of death”. Through it all the Lord, step by step, failure upon failure, the Lord does deliver us from all of our trials, fears, doubts, and brings us to have total faith in Him, and who He is.
Through it all I’ve come to trust Him more and more, now those past terrorizing doubts, and fears have subsided, but still remembered, so that I, as the Lord desires may comfort others when they go through such painful dark times. He is the victor, and works all things for our good, and for the good of others.
2Co 3:4 And such trust have we through Christ to God-ward:
2Co 3:5 Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think any thing as of ourselves; but our sufficiency is of God;
The Lord bless you Matt, and may He keep you being transparent. .
Having been raised in a Christian home all my life (over 50 years) and, even when I walked away, still believing, there is STILL…..STILL….that one nagging doubt that creeps up every now and then and says, “what if He doesn’t exist? Then you’ve spent all this time denying yourself.” But like you said, Matt, the Holy Spirit keeps pushing that thought back down into the pit it comes from and gives me that “Blessed Assurance”. And you’re right, it’s not merely an intellectual debate I have with myself, it’s self will and pride. Good job, once again! God bless.
God has gifted you with a talent to put your thoughts so eloquently into words that touch the hearts of so many. He has such great plans for you. Jeremiah 29:11. Keep in His word and keep listening to His voice and continue to be obedient and He will continue to use you. Thanks for being so transparent and sharing you heart.
Well done for being brave enough to talk about doubt. Having been a Christian for over 40 years, I can say that, in the same way that James writes, ‘faith without works is dead’ (but do read the rest to get the correct context), faith without doubt is merely optimistic illusion. Real faith produces real (faith) works, and real faith is accompanied at times by real doubt. Doubt is a product of our human condition because we are not perfect (not yet anyway).
What type of certainty are you expecting? We cannot see God. We can’t hear Him in an audible voice. The only recordings of Him are written not by Him but men some two thousands years ago. Even those writings are difficult to interpret … we can speculate with varying degrees of accuracy but that’s about it.
This doesn’t mean He doesn’t exist, but I’d be wary of mistaking the thoughts in our heads for His voice. It could just be our own hangups, fears and/or desires rattling around. Frankly, I’d be cautious of anyone insisting they knew God told them to do this or that. They’re usually up to no good.
All this being said, I don’t think there are many things in life we can be “certain” about, anyhow. Even scientific knowledge is revised based on later evidence. How many times have people shocked us with behavior we “knew” they’d not be capable of?
Faith for me is a very dark night. Yes, I am a believer, but …. I try to refrain from making statements of faith as if they were fact. I just don’t know. Not a very comfortable way to live all the time, I’d admit, especially since I’m a worrier by nature and tend to worry about the unknown, but …. it is what it is.
James Columbus…… Finally a thoughtful and insightful response to Matt’s post. Many of these comments come from people who have watched too many cartoons of a little devil sitting on one shoulder and a little angle sitting on the other.
James C, we actually have far more reliable and numerous sources (some 25,000+ entire copies and fragments, some within a few dozen years of the crucifixion) for the accurate text of the Bible than we do of Shakespeare’s plays and the works of all the ancient Greeks combined. Even if all the source documents (copies and fragments) were lost, virtually the entire Bible could be reconstructed from the quotations alone used in the sermons by the early Church fathers during the first 300 years or so after the crucifixion. And that Bible would agree in virtually every detail with the faithful translations from the original Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic sources.
As for the interpretation of the Bible, certainly there are differences in good faith between translators who work from the original languages with the culture of the time and corroboration with contemporary secular sources (Josephus, Pliny, etc.) taken into account. But the doctrines necessary for salvation are largely agreed upon, having had 2,000+ years to sort them out, and they are not difficult to understand. As another of Matt’s posts says, “Major on the majors and minor on the minors”. Or as Alastair Begg says, “The main things are the plain things and the plain things are the main things”.
As for whether the Bible is really the revealed (written) Word of God given to men, there are many convincing proffs of that as well. The only prophecies not fulfilled are those whose time has not yet come. Google some commentaries on Daniel, Zechariah, Zephaniah, Micah, Psalm 22 for a start (all of which were written 490-950 years before the crucifixion) and see how they predicted the details and timing of Jesus’ birth, life, death and resurrection with amazing detail and accuracy. The physical, bodily resurrection of Jesus from total bodily death is a fact for which there is also much evidence. If nothing else, the Jews could have done one simple thing to kill Christianity in its cradle – produce the dead body of Jesus. They could not, and the terrified disciples, hiding in an upper room after the crucifixion and burial of Jesus in a tomb sealed with a stone weighing at least a few hundred pounds and guarded by elite Roman troops, could not have stolen His body even if they had thought of it. Put the Bible to the honest test of accuracy and truth and you will fild it passes with flying colors. Your cautions about certainty of knowledge and science are well taken and wise. But when you find actual certainty, please don’t reject it for its rarity. May God guide your mind and heart to find Him in all His fullness!
Matt,
Thank your post on doubt. I will be praying for you weekly. Your transparency is refreshing. We need to pray for each and look out for another. No doubt that every believer has gone through a period of doubt and I have been through some very dark areas in my twenty-five years of walking with the Lord Jesus Christ which has tested my faith. Doubt in itself is not necessarily bad but it is a common weapon used by critics of the gospel and our enemy satan. I hope that we who believe in the gospel believe it on evidence that shows that the gospel has credibility like no other ancient document otherwise why not believe the book of Mormon or the Koran if we assume faith is just blind. The bible is composed of so many incredible documents in their accuracy of historical events and predictions and its ability to reveal the true condition of humanity like nothing else in history. It is amazing also that it was written by so many writers and yet there is an amazing harmony in prophetic accuracy and revelation of God in his dealing with us as fallen humans. It does not address every question that we may have but its sufficiency is enough to give us great confidence that the promises concerning Christ in the gospel are everything we need to know and live for God. The apostles time after time tell us that we need to hold firm to our faith knowing that it was not a myth and that we will experience the goodness of God in its right time. We in the USA are emotional addicts conditioned to live on emotional roller coasters. Whether I feel God or not should not be the issue for me and maturity in the Lord should bring me to a place where emotions are not the main factor but faith. It is not easy journey to walk in faith since it takes time in the scriptures studying the whole counsel of God, prayer, and weekly meetings with other believers who as the body should encourage each other in our faith as we led by the Holy Spirit. Lastly trials in my life for over 30 years have done much for me to develop greater faith in God since it is one thing to read about God’s faithfulness versus experiencing it. Faith is substance of we believed and its is not based on fairy tales.
2 Peter 1:16-21 ” For we did not follow cleverly devised stories when we told you about the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ in power, but we were eyewitnesses of his majesty. He received honor and glory from God the Father when the voice came to him from the Majestic Glory, saying, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” We ourselves heard this voice that came from heaven when we were with him on the sacred mountain.
We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts. Above all, you must understand that no prophecy of Scripture came about by the prophet’s own interpretation of things. For prophecy never had its origin in the human will, but prophets, though human, spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.
Every Christian will always live under a cross. No cross. no Christian. You and I will always have a reason to run back to Jesus for forgiveness and strength.
Matt,
The only advice would be to keep and open mind and spirit to both your heart and your head. You and ONLY you will live with the consequences of your decisions. Seek out answers from all sources. People will tell you to look for all your answers in the Bible. Close-mindedness is not healthy, and it is the hallmark of every cult that has ever existed. Embrace your doubt and see where it takes you.
I grew up a hard core fundamentalist, literal Bible interpreter, and “jesus is the only way” Christian. It was my exposure to the World and diverse friends and opinions that changed me. I’m not an atheist, but the concept of “traditional” Christian salvation doesn’t even pass one modicum of intellectual honesty to me anymore. The idea that someone like Hitler could say a 5 second prayer and spend eternity in heaven while Ghandi will burn forever in hell…… is beyond anything I could imagine ANY God doing. I’ve gotten very comfortable with my doubts…. With my questions….. what is most important to me is my relationships and how I treat others…. Not some simple, yet sincere, prayer.
I know the way these cults work. Your other posters will brandish me a heretic and go running back to their fragile hold on their “faith”. They will say I am from the devil. I’m not from the devil. I’m someone with a rational head on his shoulders who sees the “jesus is the only way” for what it is….. a cult. It is mind control. It is using fear (of hell) to turn you into a carbon copy of them. It is fear to keep you from living your own authentic life. It took me close to 10 years to work my way through the fear tactics that had been instilled in me since a child.
Doubting is OK. Embrace it. See where it takes you. Don’t let fear rule your life.
@James, God’s word states this;’ “Mat 7:13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
Mat 7:14 Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
Upon this word we stand and obey. And that’s it, that’s all.
May He grant you the grace to see, believe and repent.
In His Eternal Love…..
Sorry cal4u…… the fear tactics don’t affect me anymore.
@james, When I am sitting on the comode-I prefer to read ‘OUT’ or look at all the hairless twinks at ‘Bad Puppy’. More reality there then angel/demon comics..gotta get my daily dose of LGBT-XYZ-PDQ– BAD HOMOPHOBE! BAD HOMOPHOBE!
A friend highly recommended this book. I think I’ll order a copy.
http://www.amazon.com/Wrote-Bible-Richard-Elliott-Friedman/dp/0060630353/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1340834262&sr=8-1&keywords=Who+Wrote+the+Bible
ohh Matt thank you so much for this one. You have put into words what I have walked for years. every last bit of it. thank you for being so real & for helping me understand more and more how to describe the journey & communicate what I’m feeling. THANK YOU!!
xo
“Because the Holy Spirit has given me a desire for God that is bigger than my doubts about God.” —- beautiful! Praise God! yes!
and I too – Matt – have many moments of thinking – wow I am CRAZY – why do I battle so much? why do I go back & forth in my thoughts so much. I wish I could get OUT of my head sometimes…. and HE has shown me the only way to do it is to REST in Him. take moments to just stop the wheel sometimes – and just STOP and BE with Him – “look Him in the eye”, lay on my bed & rest – be reassured & rejuvenated.
I definitely think some personalities more than others get caught up in their thoughts more & feel everything more strongly — my husband for instance doesn’t get to experience the level of joy & just amazing exciting passion I do — but he will never feel as doubtful, dark as I will, either. He is able to control his thoughts so much better than I can. but I have about a million more thoughts to control