Temptation sucks. It can be hard to resist, tiresome to endure, and when succumbed to, the guilt of our failure weighs heavily on us. I hate temptation…. absolutely loathe it. But my hatred of it has not caused it to disappear. Whether I like it or not, temptation is a reality that all of us are going to have to deal with as we live out the remainder of our time in a fallen, sinful world. Avoiding the reality of (and consequently not preparing for) temptation is like being distracted and unknowingly stumbling upon the front lines of battle…. it’s just stupid— and self destructive.
I deal with the temptation to watch pornography every day. I don’t think about it constantly, but nonetheless, there is a moment in time at some point during each day where everything in my body wants to tune out the Spirit’s leading and go sit in front of the computer screen like a zombie and enjoy myself. Logically speaking, I know the foolishness of doing such a thing. I know that I’ll enjoy it, momentarily……..and then get smacked with a crashing avalanche of guilt and confusion as soon as I shut my laptop. It ends the same way every time I give in—with me confused, doubtful, fearful and depressed…. and it takes a lot of time (and a lot of grace) to get out from under all of that. Logically, I know it’s not worth it. But I still find myself wanting it… badly.
I crave pleasure—-we all crave pleasure. It’s a desire engrained in our natures, and contrary to some religious doctrine, it’s not a bad thing. Now, how we go about finding pleasure can most definitely be bad thing… that’s what sin is. If you think about it, every sin has its root in us trying to fulfill some desire or searching for some pleasure. We go wrong in the avenues we travel to find it. We indulge, pervert and idolize so many things (food, sex, money, materials, success, comfort, beauty)…. and we do so in an attempt to achieve the satisfaction our souls crave. We want to enjoy life, and the things it has to offer—-but most times we reject the One who gives Life, and all the things He has to offer.
The longing for pleasure I’m experiencing inside of me, because of my brokenness, many times manifests at the surface in intense and perverted, sexual desires. Because of my years of porn addiction before being converted, my mind and body know that a type of pleasure comes through the avenue of pornography, so my default (sinful) nature and mind pretty much automatically turn on to those things when I’m feeling less than full. But thank God for the Holy Spirit. Seriously! Without the Holy Spirit indwelling me, I can do nothing but what my default nature knows to do…. sin. In my fallen flesh, I know nothing but the pleasures found in forbidden places. You see, this is our way out of temptation…. the indwelling Spirit of God. He is always with us, witnessing the truth to us.. leading us out of filth and into holiness and purity.. filling our hearts with the love of God. He is our way out—listening to and following Him is our way out of every evil enticement.
I believe fully, because He has been sent to glorify Christ, that as I’m drawn to my sinful vice the Spirit of God whispers to my soul, “Jesus is more pleasurable than pornography.”
I’ve had the impression of this glorious thought pressed on my heart many times in recent months. Jesus is more pleasurable than pornography. (You can fill that blank with any sin). It’s hard for me to really believe that thought in the moment of temptation… because after all, pornography is right here… and I can’t even see Jesus. How can I gain immediate pleasure through Him if I can’t even immediately see or talk to Him like I could another human being? There’s probably a lot of different biblical answers to that question…. first and foremost the reality that Jesus is inside of us. I don’t know what that looks like, or how it’s possible….but it has to be true. My life, and the radical change I see in it, could not be possible if that fact were not true.
Jesus promised at the end of the gospel of Matthew that He would be with His people always. In the gospel of John, He promised that He would not leave us as orphans. He said that He would send the Helper to us… the Holy Spirit. Paul says in Romans that the love of God has been poured into our hearts through the Spirit of Christ. Colossians says that our lives are hidden in Christ…. how much more intimate can it get than that? I’ll be the first to admit that it is hard for me to believe these things most of the time—it’s hard for me to picture such a thing with my mind….. but could my lack of trust in these truths be the cause of my weakness when it comes to battling temptation? I believe that’s exactly the case.
We must believe that Jesus Christ is inside of us—we must really believe that, in the deepest parts of our hearts and minds. If we’re genuinely born-again, this is a reality whether we fully acknowledge it or not—but we can’t expect to thrive in all the benefits of Christ living in us if most of the time, through unbelief, we ignore His presence. I think we must believe, deeply believe, that Jesus is in us… we must meditate on that constantly and devotionally.
And we must believe that Jesus is all pleasurable and all satisfying. Not just in the words we speak…. but within the fibers of our hearts we must know that He is the ultimate source of pleasure. Jesus is more beautiful and captivating than anything in this world—good or bad— whether we believe it or not. But again, we can’t expect to walk in the immediate benefits of Jesus being all pleasurable if, through unbelief, we ignore His captivating essence and beauty. We must strive to see Him as glorious as He says that He is.
We must believe the Scriptures, and the promises they contain, to be the truth. The absolute truth. No negotiating. We must believe… latch onto, grasp hold of, clench our fists around….the reality of the all-satisfying God of the universe living inside of us. Everything we need to live this life as our Father has commanded us to lies in our taking hold of what He’s given us…. Himself. He is the fountain of living water, the bread of Life—-He is the sustenance. He is everything. Even if we can’t grasp it with our thinking, in Him exists pleasures and joy beyond what we even think we want.
You may ask, “That sounds great, but how do I do that? How do I get that? How do I experience God like that?”— I frustratingly ask myself the same thing a lot of times. But the truth and blessing is that we don’t have to do it… God will do it. The Holy Spirit will produce in us this belief, trust and confidence that we need to have in Jesus. The Holy Spirit will pour the love of God into our hearts. The Holy Spirit will make Jesus more real to us. We’ve just got to stop….be still…. get in front of the God-breathed Words we’ve been given…. and pray.
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.”- Matthew 7:7-8
Just some thoughts floating around in my head tonight.
Wow! This is sooooo good! Matt! Have you ever read The Pleasures of Loving God, by Mike Bickle?
Hi Matt I wanted to send you a link to listen to some words of encouragement.
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Prophetic messages, words of wisdom, knowledge and understanding given by the Spirit of the Living God. Words of the Spirit are given just as they are received. We offer no explanations, apologies or interpretations, nor do we compel you, the listener, to agree or disagree. We have in no way changed them, adulterated them or doctored them up. Words of the Spirit come to you just as they have come to us. These Words are guaranteed to kill the flesh, heal the wounds and fill the spirit man with joy. A VERY UNIQUE BROADCAST!
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Excellent Video!! Very true!!
Yes! God is actually far better than the pleasure sin offers. This is the best way to fight sexual sin or any other powerful temptation. I can’t just say no to sin, I have to have it replaced with something better – God Himself. The words of Jesus you quoted tell me how – ask God! He will answer and help!
I Muslim and i enjoy reading your blog.
Yes, the rewards of resisting a sin are long-lasting while giving in to it only yields temporary pleasure. Thank you for the wonderful article.
Dear Mohammad,
Be welcomed and please feel free to share your thoughts and ask questions!
Hope you have a good day!
Sarel
Good word Matt! Great stuff. I am going to mediate on it for a while. I have been on the same track of thought. God has really dealt me lately with verses pertaining to setting my mind on things above instead of the flesh and on the promises that we have in Christ. I know what it is like to walk in freedom for years without wanting to lust and then to walk in this bondage of lust for years. The keys for victory are in scripture given to us by the apostles. Personally for me it was realizing that God first has something better for me than sin. I am learning to go back to what worked as prescribed by the scriptures. We must make every provision not to gratify our flesh which may mean making some practical changes with our computers with software and avoiding routines that may put us in a situation that leads us to compromise. The most important thing I am learning is to seek God for his grace in humility devoting myself to prayer in private daily and with others weekly. We need the power of the Holy Spirit to have real power not just will power to do his will. We in the USA are intellectual but sadly lack the power of the early Christians. The Holy Spirit is one who can guide us to victory. It is critical that I am sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading throughout the day as he brings scripture to my mind which ensures that I will have victory over the flesh in every area not just lust. Let me clarify that the leading of the Holy Spirit only leads us by the promises in Christ found in scripture in context especially the new testament since they were intend for us. The Holy Spirit does not lead us to some subjective weird crazy stuff spouted by so called prophets and the nutty things that some claimed to be from God. This only puts us in spiritual bondage. Mike Bickle is one of these prophets because I used to attend his meetings many years ago. The greatest enemy are not demons which are very real as Paul tells us in Ephesians 6 but my own flesh wanting to subject me to it wants. What am I feeding my flesh or the Spirit? Lastly we need to be connected weekly in small groups with other believers so the process of sanctification can happens in our lives. We need more than than just good preaching or teaching but real connections with other believers who know us in truth as we confessed our sins to each and pray for each other. It must be built on a biblical foundation so we can effectively help each other with truth from scriptures as it flows out of us because we mediate on its truths day and night. It may mean starting a small bible study with other believers. We can be free even though we will fight the battle against the flesh in its various forms until we are done on earth. Lastly one minute with Christ and his presence is more powerful than a million years of therapy. It is not a mere emotion but a reality based on truth which endures with us despite our feelings.
Ephesians 3:16-19 “I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.”
Matt, Sorry about the long reply.
Great stuff Matt!
Temptations are here for a reason. The simple reason of relying on God for resistance against committing sins. I, too, wished that He wouldn’t allow me to be tempted but I realised that He uses this time to test on my faith. Yes, we may fall due to such temptations because we’re human but in Him we trust and rely for His strength to resist.
Matt, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you my brother in Christ! I too deal with this everyday and each and everyday I ask myself, am I doing the right thing, does God love me for who I am as a gay male? What am I missing? How can I change? Why should I change? My friend you just summed it all up, Jesus is inside me, I must learn to turn from this temptation. Thank you!
When we focus on the sin, it gains power over us and we fail. When we focus on Christ, we are able to overcome the hardships.
I also struggle with the desire to view pornography although I know it isn’t what I want. Viewing it tears down the healing that God is working within my soul. So part of saying no has to be loving yourself enough to do what’s right. It’s a hard battle and the opposite of what you’re conditioned by depression to do. I pray that God continues to reveal His grace in you and bring you ever more healing, brother.
Watching pornography is very, very wrong indeed. I have personally experienced that after watching porn, images of erect penises and lustful male bodies immediately popped up in my mind, the moment when I commenced with praying, even days afterwards. Porn creates separation between ourselves and God. We need to support each other in our battles with avoiding sinful lives.
@ Matt Moore,
Good stuff….
When I think of temptation I think of Saint Peter, the other Holy Apostles and of Judas Iscariot.
Saint Peter and the other Holy Apostles understood the message of Christ because they first believed in Him.
Reflecting on the 6th Chapter of St. John’s Gospel many of the listeners could not accept Christ statement that He is the bread of life-Holy Communion. The problem was they could not look beyond the immediate material world. Jesus presented a different teaching that was impossible for many to accept. So they fell away.
The Holy Apostles, however, recognized the essence of Christ mission. Saint Peter speaking on behalf of the Apostles says,
He that believes understands. Peter does not first understand than he believes, no. He believed first than he understood.
But even among the 12 Apostles one did not believe in Christ-Judas Iscariot. Judas did not understand because he did not believe. The problem with Judas he felt betrayed by Christ because he believed Christ was to be the winning Messiah that would free them from the Romans. He was a Zealot, and wanted a triumphant Messiah. Contrast that with Saint Peter who believed and knew Jesus was “the Holy One of God”.
What’s this got to do with temptation?
Well, when the disciples refused Jesus’ offer of eating His flesh and drinking His blood, they “returned to their formal life and no longer accompanied him”-John 6:66.
Judas could have left as many disciples did. If he was honest he would have left. Instead he chose to remain with Jesus. Not because of faith or love but the secret desire to take vengeance on his Master. Judas was insincere-And insincerity is the sign of the devil. He was fake. He lived in falsehood. This is why Christ said to the Twelve: “One of you is a devil”.
We need to pray to help us believe in Jesus than we understand. We live with sincerity.
We are not very sincere if we constantly giving into temptations or making excuses why we sin or justify our sin. Sure we have fallen human nature (original sin) but when God created us, He said it was “Good”.
Okay, we should feel shame for our sins but is shame the same as guilt? Judas felt guilty and then hung himself from a tree.
Shame comes from a properly formed conscience. Guilt comes from Satan.
Anyways that’s my take,
DM
Dear Matt,
I so feel for your struggle – I know it well. Although I’ve never had a problem with pornography (through the grace of God) I’ve had my own problem. I’ve never named it because I didn’t want to freak people out – not because it’s so terrible but precisely because some might say, ‘Dude, that isn’t a problem.’ And it relates to the question of masturbation. We all know the Bible doesn’t speak specifically about it. Some say it’s a sin and state their plausible case and other say it isn’t and state their equally plausible case. This has in a sense only made the struggle worse. I mean, is it a sin or not? It is so difficult to stop doing something if you’re not even sure it is a sin! But nevertheless – each time I did masturbate (about once a week my body demanded an orgasm) I felt convicted. I went through the same terrible feelings you do after you watch porn. I didn’t watch porn while doing it or fantasize in any way, no naked pictures in my head – it was a pretty clinical exercise. As far as something like that can be clinical. But still – the conviction.
Fairly early in my Christian walk I went and spoke to a pastor I respected about masturbation. I wasn’t really struggling with it at the time (meaning, I wasn’t trying to quit), I didn’t think it was a problem, but I wanted clarity. He said he was going to give me a strange answer: he’s not going to tell me. And similarly, I’m not going to tell anyone whether it’s a sin or not. I sometimes wonder if God didn’t NOT specifically address the issue of masturbation on purpose. This is a conversation you have to have with Him personally as it relates to something more than just sin.
Either way – I have moved passed this problem. More precisely – Jesus Christ did it for me. But there were certain realizations that brought me there and I would like to share them as, really, my struggle wasn’t any different from your struggle with porn. Also this relates to what I personally experienced so anyone who wants to disagree, by all means do, but please – don’t verbally dart me to death. Similarly, I apologise if I’m telling you things you already know – I would just like to be as thorough as possible so I may help a broad as possible group. I struggled for a long time before experiencing freedom and my hope and my prayer is that this will be of some help to you and your readers.
The first issue I faced was this: did I really believe? I mean really, REALLY? It is so hard to believe in God as a human being. We like to really get to grips with something, touch it, see it – satisfy our senses that it is REAL. This is often a silent battle – who likes to admit they doubt? No one. Not only that – we often feel obligated that we need to present ourselves as having faith strong enough to bounce angry dogs off in order to encourage others. You can’t really say, “Trust in God! He will come through for you! I’m not sure He’s really there but, you know, trust Him anyway!” It lacks punch. And on top of that, we’re scared that God is going to be offended by our lack of faith – which is, admittedly, a strange place to be in. We are scared the Person we are struggling to believe in is going to be angry with us – if He exists. So we end up playing games with ourselves, other people AND God. I know you have spoken in an previous entry about your struggle with doubt and that was very brave of you. I would’ve liked to help at the time but – I was also still struggling in that department at times, so what could I say? But we can’t ignore the issue. The first step is acknowledging it to ourselves. You can’t overcome a problem you’re not even willing to face. And don’t go, mmm, I think I believe. Look at your actions, your fears, what you say (or do not say) – it’s these things that truly declare our faith – or lack of it. (A good way to judge I’ve found is to see how freely you talk to people about Jesus Christ. When you start experiencing a great boldness you know that you’re where you need to be! I only got to this point more than a year after giving my life to Jesus – don’t know if there was something wrong with me or whether this is normal. I suppose for each it is different.)
2Co 13:5 Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you are disqualified.
What is addressed in this verse is broader than I currently make it, but assuredly contained in it is the question whether you even believe that Jesus Christ is REAL, never mind whether you are in the faith or He in you. When confronted by a lot of (on the surface godly) people declaring how solid their faith is, how often have I not silently asked myself, ‘Then why do you fear?’ Their fear betrayed them. Their lack of peace betrayed them. Their lack of joy betrayed them. All these things also stood against me, pointing an accusing finger at me oh so frequently. If you TRULY believed, they silently screamed at me, would you not be filled with peace and joy? Would you fear? Would you not OBEY? When God called me I thought to myself, ‘This is a dream come true!’ Was the true now fading back to a dream and gradually descending into a nightmare? The mere thought terrified me. And that is precisely where the enemy wanted me. Terrified – hiding from myself and from God – the only One able to help me. (As if He didn’t know already.) (If He existed.)
And you better test your faith – because God for sure is going to.
1Pe 1:6-8 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, (7) that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, (8) whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory,
God is not testing your faith so that He might know how strong your faith is. He knows. It’s YOU who don’t. He is doing you a favour – revealing the level of your faith to you by putting it to the test. Now, it is better to test yourself, than to find yourself being tested by God unprepared. For His test will be very thorough indeed. Again, I say, He does it for your own good. He is trying to help you. It is imperative for you to have a clear idea of where you stand in your faith – and be honest to Him about it if you feel you are lacking. Because ONLY He can remedy the situation. We can’t MAKE ourselves believe although assuredly we do like to try.
So after you’ve admitted it to yourself – you admit it to God. And it is at that point that things can start moving in a forward direction. Believe me, He’s been patiently waiting for you to get to your wits end and in desperation turning to Him. Nothing apart from full disclosure is ever good enough for God. Up till the point where you bare all God will be silent because you’re holding out on Him.
Now the next most crucial point after you’ve admitted your problem to God is to study your Bible. Read it and read it and read it. How many times can I say it? Read it. And yet people don’t listen. I know – it was a great bone of contention between God and me at a time. I was forever reading Christian ‘literature’ and not spending half as much time reading my Bible myself. Now? I only on occasion read other Christian writers – and then only when I feel prompted to. There is much that is deceptive out there – and some, if not deceptive, silly and a grand waste of time. But once you REALLY start turning to your Bible for direction – then things start happening.
God wants a relationship with you. A relationship is a two-way street. You talk and God talks back. God talks and you respond. God talks mostly through his written Word. He does it by making the Word come alive for you. This can happen in a great many ways – but only if you are in the Word in the first place. This is the most important thing that you must do from your side. The rest is up to God.
What I did was read my Bible constantly (searching for answers!), persevere, cling to Jesus Christ even when I couldn’t sense Him in any way and when I was assailed by doubt praying there and then to God about this ‘evil heart of unbelief’ that plagued me. Now I knew the Bible teaches that if we asked anything that is in line with God’s will – He will hear and do something about it.
1Jn 5:14-15 Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. (15) And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of Him.
And surely – if my ‘evil heart of unbelief’ pained me, very likely more so Him. So I started waiting – expectantly. (Not staring into deep space – I kept studying my Bible whilst doing so!) But there was an expectation: God was going to do something. And He did. Boy, did He ever. I’m not going to go into WHAT He did for me but what He did worked. It was persistent, I couldn’t ignore it. It was everywhere. HE was everywhere. He WANTS to reveal Himself to you on a personal level. And He will do it in ways that are undeniable. It will be: here I AM. This is such a beautiful prayer of Paul’s for the church of Ephesus:
Eph 1:17-19 that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and REVELATION in the KNOWLEDGE of Him, (18) the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, (19) and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power
Up until the point where you don’t experience real two-way communication between you and God there is no relationship. And you have to be TIRELESS in your pursuit of it until you have it. I can go on and on about this but I will call halt here. This is SO important! If you seek him in such a way have no doubt that He will respond. He will.
But until you get to this point, your struggle against temptation is in vain – I can vouch for that. You will also not truly know the joy and peace that belong to those who place all their trust in their God.
And you need to realize that He’s not going to reject you. For all your stumbling and fumbling, He’s going to keep on loving you and helping you. He really IS going to forgive you every time you ask for forgiveness. And that is because His forgiveness of you isn’t based on your performance. It is based on the blood of Jesus Christ. And until you realize this you are going to keep failing because in reality, you are still under the law. There’s still too much of an issue regarding ‘doing’ or ‘not doing’ on your part. If you stumble and experience FEAR afterwards you have a problem in this department. Regret, yes, remorse, yes – never fear. (I’m going to leave this issue here because it is extensive and I’m already in danger of writing a book. But you must work this one out – it is important. And necessary if you want to conquer sin!)
The next thing that helped me was the much heard of, seldom experienced, desperate cry for help. Now this is a tricky bit of flooring. Only God knows when the right level of desperation is arrived at. He’s not cruel by waiting – it’s just, until you are truly desperate and ready DO WHAT YOU’RE TOLD it’s a waste of time. You’re not desperate enough yet. I have cried out in desperation plenty before the day that God finally answered me. And now looking back I can see I was ripe like late summer melon. My aunt once asked an elderly lady who is famous in town for the rusks she bakes to give her the recipe. So this lady told her no. “I will come to your house and show you. And then you don’t try to be clever – you do what you’re told.” That’s where I was. I was willing to submit without any negotiation because I really, really wanted that recipe quite badly.
I can still remember the moment quite clearly. I was walking along the street and talking to God, as you do, having just ‘stumbled’. I was so dreadfully tired of it all. The old ‘dog who just ate the Sunday roast skulking out of the room’-feeling. The feelings of guilt, the broken heart, the helplessness, the picking up, the dusting off – really, I couldn’t face it any more. Ripe. So a word popped into my head: accountability. I knew it was God. You just do at times like these. Now accountability was only the beginning – by itself it won’t work. You are still relying on your own strength there – but it was God beginning point. God is really awesome. He had at that point already placed the perfect person in my life to be my ‘accountability partner’. Contacting this person and making my request was a matter of ‘just do it’. Write the email and press send before you can chicken out. But I was desperate, so I did it. I was so scared lol! I had always failed in conquering this problem before – and now I’m going to have to TELL someone about it each time?! Scary stuff. Never mind that – I was never going to have an orgasm again! Now that freaked me out good and proper. The thought seemed quite impossible to even comprehend fully. But I was desperate, so I wrote that email and left the problems of orgasms to take care of themselves.
So now I had accountability. And it was this person which provided me with the next part of the puzzle: via some information he gave me I got the revelation that I was no longer my own – my BODY was no longer my own. You have to pray for this revelation – you HAVE to feel it in your bones and it must engraved in your heart. It can’t just be ‘head knowledge’. I urge you to draw up a contract, date it and sign on the dotted line. “I hereby solemnly transfer ownership of my body over to Jesus Christ. I no longer have ANY say in what happens to it and what I do with it. It is His, completely. If I want to do something with it, I first have to get PERMISSION.” And once you have revelation (pray for it till you have it!) that you no longer belong to yourself (in ANY way) you find suddenly a blessed difference when temptation strikes: it is no longer YOUR decision to make! I can not explain to you the peace that comes with this knowledge. The relief! Truth be told, I was fairly surprised when I came to the point of temptation and suddenly found myself without a say in the matter. But what a blessed day! Truly, this was the power of Jesus Christ manifesting in my life! (I had failed WAY too many times to think it was me, that I can assure you. I had tried every trick in the book to conquer this habit – and failed miserably.)
The weird thing was that during this whole period I really FELT God looking over my shoulder. Not in a threatening way – in a really comforting, reassuring way. Keeping panic at bay. And so time passed. Temptation came, temptation went. Things were going really quite well. (Better than I thought possible.)
(Now temptation isn’t temptation unless it’s temptation. You are still going to FEEL tempted. You still have to go, okay, I need to check with Jesus. He says, no. Okay. The answer is no. And MOVE ALONG. No is no. If you start bargaining then it’s game over. And then you simply trust that the necessary strength will be provided to not fall. It will be.)
Then there was the one pretty hairy day not long into this process where I creaked like an old wooden ship in a violent storm inside due to the pressure to give in, where it felt all my buttons were being pressed all at once – I’ll spare you the details. But no was no and I stuck with it. But I was unhappy. I creaked miserably. And that’s when I realized that now I was ready to take the next step: admit that I’m not Superman. It’s okay to tell someone, “Listen here, I’m creaking – can I tell you about it?” So I decided to write a quick message to my ‘accountability partner’ to bemoan my fate (and what a fate, it’s attached to my body, can’t get away from it!) and proceeded to be quite amazed at the things I blurted out while trying to explain my sad state of affairs. What amazed me even more was that suddenly I was feeling quite happy and relaxed. In fact, I felt like singing. No more creaking! You see, God was dealing with me regarding masturbation, sure, but more importantly, He was dealing with my pride. I’ve always had this morbid fear of appearing weak. I would rather carry the world and quietly die inside than admit I need help. Asking for help is anathema. In fact, this line of thinking had already once nearly cost me my life. It was DANGEROUS. It needed to GO. And God has His ways.
Rom 11:33 Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!
And that’s another wonderful thing about God: He wants you to know what’s going on. It has happened to me time beyond count now that just as I’m in need of some information, either because of what is going to happen to me just now, or by way of explanation of what’s just happened in my life, He will provide it. Now by FAR the most common way He does this is by using His Word. (Which in turn will, of course, only happen if you read it.) But sometimes He will do it in other ways. This time, He sent a book across my path. This book explained with eerie precision what I had just gone through.
You see, there was something quite different that has kept me going. Something that’s taken the sting out of the temptations that has and surely will still come. Something that has robbed the enemy (and orgasms) of their power over me. And that is: I started experiencing the joy and peace of the Lord as never before. It felt like before this I didn’t even KNOW God. Something that had stood between us had suddenly disappeared. Before He was distant, over there, unreachable. Now He was very much HERE. Of course, He had been here all along. But I had been unable to sense Him most of the time. Why?
There had been a bone of contention between God and me: my love of orgasms. I wasn’t willing to give it up. I was keeping a little part of myself back. You see, in order to buy that piece of land with the hidden treasure, to afford that most precious pearl – you have to sell EVERYTHING.
Mat 13:44-46 “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and hid; and for joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. (45) “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking beautiful pearls, (46) who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had and bought it.
This book – “The Normal Christian Life” by Watchman Nee (will give link at end – it’s available for free) – explained to me that in every Christian’s life, sometime after your conversion, you will come to a point where God is going to ask you to give something up. Of course we are asked to turn from many things in our walk with Christ – but this is going to be something specific. For each of us it’s going to be different but one characteristic of this thing is always the same: you’re not going to want to do it. And you are going to fight God on it. It is going to be a long, tiring, much agonized over fight. It’s also going to be very sobering because you are going to (eventually) realize something else: you can’t win. God is sovereign and if He wants something then He gets it. And if He says there is something standing between you – an idol – you better believe that the Sun will implode and the moon crash into the sea before God is going to budge on this issue. He wants EVERYTHING.
I’m going to desist now. If Albert apologized for the length of his comment it leaves me somewhat at a loss as to what I should do. But if I had not said all this I would’ve exploded. It wanted to get out.
Take that step: give everything. I can not explain it to you but YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT! Because of doing that, giving my all, I now sing with such joy on Sundays and raise my hands so high in praise I rather wonder what the people think has come over me. And I grin while doing it. But it is quite simple: it is the joy of the Lord and there is nothing like it.
Thanks Matt for giving me the opportunity to go ballistic on your blog and that you raised this so very important issue.
Many blessings to all!
http://www.ccel.org/ccel/nee/normal
This book by Watchman Nee is awesome for understanding – and overcoming! – our struggle with sin. Not finished it yet but it is very worthwhile!
@Sarel Petrus,
Holy crap!!!!
That’s a looooooooong comment.
Okay, I admire you and Matt being open with such personal matters in the public arena. I usually don’t talk about these things publicly (only cause it’s terrifically embarrassing and petrified mamma would stumble across it).
Obviously, I look at human sexuality through the lens of the Catholic faith. Human life is sacred. Sex is the fount of human life-therefore, sex is sacred, and we shouldn’t mess with things that are sacred. This doesn’t mean I’m pure. I am still wrestling with purity. I have my good days and I have my not so good days. But I haven’t had bad days in a long while—> I have been chaste since June 2011-
WHOOP! WHOOP! 
But all of this has got me thinking-wouldn’t it be cool if Matt (or you) started another blog or chose another type of platform where Christian singles, [maybe even Christian SSI/SSA singles] could get together and discuss this stuff in a open forum? Where people chat, pray, and sacrifice for one another. Like a real online faith community thingy….. I know they already exists but this could be like Matt’s forum thingy. Way I see it he already has plenty of SSA/SSI folk who visit this blog..so why not start a forum?
Just a thought…..Thanks Sarel
D
Hey Davide,
Yeah when I put my hands on my laptop I never quite know where it’ll all end. I’ve been trying to write my testimony but well – you can imagine. I’ve lived a … full life. Regarding the openness thing – well, I took a page out of Matt’s book, to be honest. He kind of broke the ice and I just jumped in the hole. It was freezing but refreshing. I can tell you I was pretty red after finishing that piece. It is NOT in my nature to be so open about my personal life – quite the opposite.
Regarding the forum thing – don’t really know. I’ve basically been satisfied gatecrashing Matt’s site!
And to be perfectly honest – I hate the technical side of these things. I had a website (used Microsoft Frontpage) some years back and although I love the playing around with design bit I hated learning how to do it. I’m not like you young ones – I’m old and set in my ways… 
But if something like that were to spring up I’ll probably talk on it – probably won’t be able to help myself. I have recently discovered precisely HOW great God is and can’t seem to stop talking about it.
Anyhoo – hope you have a great, temptation free day!
Sarel
Thank you for sharing ! This is s huge problem for many and so many times just passed over because it’s uncomfortable for many to hear. So many are hurting because of porn and The devastation it brings to one personally and relationships. May all that read your thoughts be blessed and have a deeper unstinting if Gods love, forgiveness and healing !
Masturbation in a pure clinical manner is difficullt for me to regard as sin. I would like to hear from others about the biblical bases for such belief. From personal experience I will not have an urge to view porn, nor to commit adultery during the few hours after ejaculation of semen. A normal male body produces semen, which will be ejaculated during a wet dream, if not manually introduced. Is masturbation not an approved manner in which God provided men with a release system, protecting them from committing sexual sins? I do however strongly feel that looking at a picture of a naked woman or man, in lust, whilst doing it will certainly constitute an immoral sin. But I shall gladly receive advice from others.
Willie,
Okay so is masturbation a sin?
Well, from a Catholic perspective it is indeed a sin. Through the Magisterium of the Church, over the course of constant Christian tradition and a moral sense of the Natural Law masturbation is “intrinsically evil and gravely disordered”. Human sexuality which is meant by God to be shared between man and woman in marriage.
Obviously, the practice of masturbation, psychological factors-including adolescent immaturity, lack of psychological balance could lesson the moral responsibly. Obviously, many masturbate out of habit and habits can be hard to break. But habitual masturbation does not destroy the voluntary actions of masturbation. As Christians we will be held accountable for our actions. So we can curb or eliminate all habits that detach us from Our Lord.
Here’s what I do when I feel I need to test my conscience. WWJD? It’s not really that difficult-is it something I can do while praying? As far as I know I have yet heard of anyone praying as they are doing the one-handed shuffle.
I have no clue what you mean by clinical masturbation. I am assuming you mean masturbating without the visual and/or mental stimuli? Okay well good luck with that-I mean is it even possible? And who would want to? Like playing a tennis match with only the racket.
So is “clinical masturbation” a sin? Beats me-I don’t regularly masturbate nor do I own a clinic.
As far as wet dreams-does mamma do your laundry? If yes have a box of tissues near the bed (under the bed) and never sleep naked-if no you do your own laundry-who cares it all comes out in the wash
My advice is for you to talk to your priest, confessor or pastor or whomever for spiritual advice on this matter. I think God knows we sometimes fail but He does expect us to do our best to live according to His ways.
We should strive for Christian perfection.
Thanks,
D
Great article, Matt. There just is no temptation free zone in the world. You could sit on the moon all by your lonesome and still get tempted by something! I am so grateful that I’m not addicted to porn. But I have gotten some BAD ideas from it, that’s for sure!
After 25 years of marriage I gave into temptation and became addicted to porn. I know that it doesn’t always end up like this with everyone but for me, the addiction eventually led me to acting out. What you feed is what will grow. I kept feeding the addiciton and eventually the porn wasn’t enough. My conscience had become so seared that I no longer felt the guilt and shame and that was a scary place to be.
Praise God, I haven’t looked at porn for several years now. I could if I wanted to but I know where it can and probably would take me. I don’t ever want to forget giving into that temptation took me and how it almost destroyed me and my wonderful family. Like you said, Jesus brings so much more pleasure. No more guilt, shame and remourse is pretty cool too!
Love ur publication
Davide,
Thank you for your response and contribution.
Your views are in accordance with Catholicism. But what does the Bible say about masturbation ? I have not yet to come across something in the Bible addressing masturbation explicitly.
99% of men and boys masturbate. And the remaining 1% is probably lying about it.
I am at all times aware of the members of my whole body. When lying on my stomach, the nice feeling of the pressure of my genitals on the bed cannot be avoided. Nor can I ignore the senses of my genitals under the shower or in the bath. Taking the shower head and spraying the warm water down there to wash, pulling my foreskin back and rinse thoroughly, is something not to be missed.
So also, is brushing my back with a long brush most pleasurable, etc., etc.
Why did God then provided us men with so many pleasures attached to our skins.
Is it wrong with enjoying rubbing my back?
Willie, TMI. Dude I really don’t need to hear about your sexual impulses. If you feel you have the need to choke the unemploye-enjoy. These questions you are asking me you should be asking someone more qualified. Perhaps you should seek out a spiritual advisor? BTW-Are you a teenager?
Been really struggling with porn and lust in general lately, craving that intoxicating “pleasure” that you write about here. Thank you for the reminder that God far surpasses any ounce of “fulfillment” to be found in those other things. Keep on, brother. Love your story.
Hi Matt,
I want to share this link with you. It teaches what really happens when we receive salvation. And there is another one you should watch as well; my teaching on “Understanding Romans 7:14-25. I will post both links. I hope you are blessed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6_c9EjrwgA
God Bless you
Right on. I believe you are speaking something that Jesus put on your heart. I have experienced a similar thing just the last few weeks. I believe Jesus has given me th faith to calmly wait out temptation while being aware of His betterness. I have gained confidence quickly seeing the stronger power of our good Lord shield me. I find it amazing!
matt , brother, even many of our brothers and sisters grew up in churches (including me) lust and pornography always was a war to fight and big temptation…
matt , brother, even many of our brothers and sisters grew up in churches (including me) lust and pornography always was a war to fight and big temptation…as a teenager I remember sleepless nights, full of tears and guilt after trying the forbidden fruit, for the next morning I had to sing in worship team..
I’m truly sad to see the decades of needless shame men endure with this issue.
There’s a striking difference between the Bible’s treatment of sex and how Christians often perceive it. On the one hand, the Bible shows some of the biggest heroes of the faith – Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, David, Gideon – fully having sex with multiple women because God *gave* them those women while offering even more (2 Sam. 12:8). God acknowledged that men can have “integrity of heart” while pursuing non-monogamy (Gen. 20, esp. v6 NAS). On the other hand, we have countless modern Christian men who see themselves as having a “lust problem” if they merely *look* with delight at anyone except their wives.
King David is history’s most respected worship leader. The example of his life should mean something to today’s worship leaders. David had real, actual sex with lots of women, yet, according to 1 Kings 15:5, he faithfully kept all of God’s commands and walked uprightly except when he stole a woman who already belonged to another man. But today, we see worship leaders burdened with tremendous guilt because they’ve merely thought about sex or looked at nude pictures of unmarried women. David was innocent in *having* lots of sex, but modern men are guilty just for *thinking* about it?
Do we believe God changed the rules through Jesus or the apostles so that certain sex acts stopped being innocent and suddenly became sinful? Are we interpreting Matthew 5:28 to say it’s wrong to *think about* doing things that God’s Law did not forbid people from actually *doing,* as if God failed to adequately define sin for most of human history?