I have a lot of time on my hands today, so I thought I’d take advantage of it to post a blog since I haven’t in a few weeks.
I wish that I utilized this blog more than I do. I wish I posted more often. But the thing is, I’ve just kind of been scared to lately. Over the past year, I’ve grown increasingly aware of how much I do not know. I’m seeing a little more clearly how inexperienced I am as far as sharing the gospel and ministry of the Word goes. As I was reading through some of my older posts from last year and earlier this year, it’s quite clear that I thought I was a lot wiser than I actually was. Unaware of my arrogance at the time, I really think I saw myself as the “go-to” guy on the issue of homosexuality. I pictured myself using the gifts and testimony God has gvien me to attain a great name in the world of ministry. And this blog was the avenue through which I was getting all of these ideas. In 2012, the traffic to my website has exploded…… and along with it came mass amounts of emails, interviews on radio shows and other Christian News outlets, signing with a literary agency and speaking agency, etc. It seemed like I had people from every angle telling me how awseome of a work God was doing in and through me and what great plans He must have in store for me in the ministry of the gospel. Unfortunately, all of these good things and encouragement fed the desire I had to make a name for myself… to be known. I was not spiritually mature enough to handle all of that (I’m probably still not)–and my flesh seized the opportunity to distract me from what really matters. Jesus. Continue reading
God, through the gospel of Jesus Christ, meets all of our spiritual and emotional needs: the need to feel loved, pursued, affirmed, wanted, secure, joyful and purposed—-it’s all found in Christ. I don’t know about you, but it can be hard for me to continually believe that. I have moments when it’s so clear to me that I am whole in Christ….. but I have many other moments where I doubt, fear and find that what I “feel” contradicts everything I see in Scripture.
Over the last year, I’ve noticed in my own life that the driving force behind my sinful behaviors is almost always me trying to meet the needs of my soul myself. In moments of stress, loneliness or self pity, I find that I tend to be resistant toward the promises of God in Christ. Jesus says, “Come to me, you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest for your soul”—-but for some reason, namely my stupidity, sometimes I find it hard to rest in Jesus and find it easier to fulfill my needs myself. Whether that be in the way of the sensual pleasure of pornography, or seeking affirmation and attention from people in sinful ways, etc., I try to find my own way of satisfaction instead of finding rest in believing that I have continual affirmation, love, security and purpose from God in Jesus Christ. Continue reading
Just gonna ramble a little bit, bear with me:
This week I’ve started to learn what it means to stand on Christ as your rock amidst the storm of circumstances. Not that my circumstances have been bad—they haven’t been bad. But they’ve been different. I’m the type of person that likes familiarity, and over the past week….. every single thing has been unfamiliar. Continue reading