I used to think that the power of my testimony was in my conversion experience, so over the past few years whenever I have had the opportunity to talk or write about my testimony, I have had a tendency to go back to 2010 and relive the details of how bad I was and how deep in sin I was— in order to demonstrate how shocking it was that I was brought out of all those activities so suddenly. Surely, God did glorify Himself in yanking me out of the depths of my depraved behavior. His power was seen clearly in that experience and I will continue to tell people about that. But, over the past year or so, what I’ve become even more convinced of is that the real power of my testimony lies in the continuation of my faith in Jesus Christ, rather than just the initial profession.
When I came out of the homosexual lifestyle, the reactions of those around me varied, but one thing was pretty certain among most: “Matt’s just going through a phase.” Parts of my family supported me and parts of my family were perplexed by me. Most of my friends ceased communication with me, but the ones that remained in my life I could tell didn’t take what I was saying and doing seriously. I think that overall, everyone wished me well, but at the same time were sure that sooner rather than later I would embrace homosexuality as good and right again…..but maybe be a little more “tame” this time around. By this point, in January of 2013, I’m sure that nearly every one expected me to have “returned to my senses.”
This is why I believe now that the real power of my testimony lies in my continued seeking after Christ and my continued repentance. When I often examine my heart, as Paul urged believers to do, I can only gain so much assurance and comfort from my “conversion experience” back in 2010. Like many of those who doubt the authenticity of my salvation, I could analyze that experience up and down and come up with all sorts of ‘logical’ explanations for my sudden switching gears in behavior:
”Maybe I was tired of the craziness of week by week partying and getting trashed? Maybe I was frustrated not being able to find a guy who I could actually see myself being in a committed relationship with? Perhaps I was just ready for a change? After all, I do get bored easily.”
What gives me assurance, and what I believe speaks volumes of the grace of God and the power of the gospel, is that year by year, month by month, week by week, day by day—-I continue to fight the fight of faith. I have sought after Jesus and I have turned from sin daily. Throughout all the ups and downs, the fluctuation of my circumstances and emotions, the frustrations of having to build a completely new life, and the often very real and sometimes overwhelming loneliness of this path I’m on—I stand firm and with my whole, imperfect and sin-tainted heart say, “Jesus Christ is everything.”
Many, many days I have failed to fight perfectly. I have at many times in my walk stooped down and willingly spoon-fed myself the familiar, vile vomit that is sin. Yet, in each and every one of my failures— I was given grace; grace to repent and to keep following after Jesus. The Lord gives me grace each and every day, despite the failures or successes of the day, to believe the truth that Jesus Christ died for my sins and that despite my inablity to offer God anything, He offers me everyhing—He offers me His Son. And in believing this truth, the truth above all truths— I am able to wage war against the hopelessness that fights to consume my heart and destroy my soul. The life-enabling grace given to me because of Jesus Christ, and only because of Jesus Christ, sustains me—to the surprise of many. And even often to the surprise of myself.
The power of my testimony is not limited to my road-to-damascus-like conversion experience, but is really found in my grace-enabled perseverance that points right back to the power, love, patience, faithfulness and goodness of Jesus Christ.
Amen! Endurance is the evidence of our salvation! Like the way you explained that principle.
Amen, Matt. Such an encouragement. Thanks for sharing.
http://gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
Matt, you are my hero. In this society, where our personal desires and feelings are accepted as the norm and there is little femphasis on our submission to God and His design for us, you are a bright and shining star. Your persistence is to be commended and you are in my prayers. You give me great hope.
gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
Thanks Matt. For your encouragement -”For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus” Phil 1 v 6 (NASB) Grace and Blessing!
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What an amazing testimony! Love the verse that David shared as it suits so perfectly. Way to fight the good fight and keep enduring. Blessings!!
Fight? Its cowardly and a lie. Pretending you’re straight to please a being who is most probably a fictional character.
Whoa? What could you possibly offer another guy in a relationship? Haha, just kidding.
gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
Its Great Matt, I can Fully relate to you.. because I have too left the Homosexual lifestyle, by the Grace of God, He has done and continues to do great things in you and me and others who have and will leave that destructive lifestyle.. I could never go back either, not after knowing him
he is better that all of that Bless you Brother.
gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
Oh thank you, Matt! Reading this encouraged me. I sometimes wonder about these things myself. Like, did I only convert because I thought the family & friends who rejected me because I was gay would start to love me again? Did I convert because my boyfriend Jay did and I didn’t want him to reject me? Did I do it because I was suffering horribly with anxiety and I thought I would be cured? Well, the people who turned on me haven’t come running back, I have a caring friendship with Jay, and though it’s not as severe I still battle anxiety. And yet I’m still chasing after our Lord Jesus.
Some of my friends/family are bewildered too. They’ll say “So what are you gonna do, be alone the rest of your life? Or get together with a woman and fake being attracted to her?”
I know I’m young and haven’t been Christian for long – not quite six months. And I don’t know what the future holds. That’s all up to God. But with God, ALL things are possible. I try to keep that in mind.
gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
Matt,
Thank you for your candor and willingness to express the things I often feel unable to express. You eloquently described the priority of our battle. I find it so easy to slip up and can give 150 excuses in order to justify it, but at the end of the day, it really all comes down to serving God and being “willing and obedient.” Thank you for being a voice of truth. I wish I could be so brave and live with such integrity. You offer us all hope.
-Seth
gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
Matt,
I wish you well in your ongoing conversion…
“There are in truth three states of the converted, the beginning, the middle, and the perfection. In the beginning they experience the charms of sweetness, in the middle the contests of temptation, and in the end the fullness of perfection.” -Pope St. Gregory the Great (540AD-604AD)
Davide, I really like that quote. Thanks for sharing.
gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
Amen, brother! Your conversion story is amazing and,I believe, is truly a story of God supernaturally pulling you out of the fire. Don’t stop telling it because it is a story of hope to anyone who thinks they are caught in a prison from which there is no release. But, your perseverance through the stuggle these past years is even more of a story of the grace, power and love of God to sustain and “keep” you. This is a real anchor of hope for all those who struggle with ssa on a daily basis or any sin for that matter. God’s grace is truly sufficient even when we fall over and over again!!! It is for you and it is for any who turn to him. Press on in the wonderful grace of our Lord, Matt!!
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Loved this. Thank you for your example, and keep pressing on! Yes, it is a daily battle.
gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
Daily lies (to one’s self and others) and repression/suppression, you mean. There is no battle, there is only living a lie and trying to pretend you’re something you’re not…Scientific and medical evidence points to gay people being born the way they are, yet you idiots prefer to believe in fairy tales from an ancient, outdated and inaccurate book.
It is good you found yourself with God, but homosexuality is not a choice, you can’t just turn it off, I think either you are still gay or were straight the whole time but confused. This isn’t an attack against you, I am just saying that you will never truly be happy until you accept who you are, and before you marry any woman, be certain it’s the right choice, you don’t want to string a woman along through 20 years of marriage before realizing you still like men, and you need to know you love her. Be certain of the road ahead, and be sure of it, not just for you or Christ, but the woman you marry, the children you may have, you don’t want to make a mess.
Either way, I wish you luck and hope you will still be happy with the choice you made, in my personal opinion I don’t think it is, but if you are happy, then that’s all that matters.
Drake, you may be right that Matt can’t just “turn it off.” But that’s not his intent, from what I’ve seen. Rather, the hope is that God would either help him endure through it OR that GOD would turn it off. Do you think it would be rational to conclude that God can create something, indeed EVERYTHING, from nothing, can set the stars and the planets and the moons in motion, can cause a virgin to become pregnant, to live a perfect life, to heal the blind and the lame, to cast out demons, to turn water into wine, to walk on water, to raise the dead, to raise himself from the dead… but not be capable of changing our sinful orientations (my genetically-tied alcoholism, for example)?! The Bible teaches we are made new creatures with new natures and a renewed mind when we are justified.
I like how you said, “you can’t be truly happy until you accept who you are”. I think you’re right, but who we are is what God says we are. Are we listening to Him or our own stinking-thinking and what the world is telling us? The battle is in the mind. “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind” and “Thy Word is truth”. We can be transformed by the Truth of God’s Word de-bunking our wrong destructive humanistic thinking. It’s only then that we experience true freedom from sin.
Drake,
You right. I cannot turn off our latent sinful desires and Colossians chapter 3 states that we will have in us the wrong desires even as believers but we need to put them to death daily putting our trust in Christ and seeking our delight in Him. He is faithful as we read the scriptures especially on what Christ did for us by his death on the cross. Sin leads to death especially spiritual death. God wants us to have close relationships with others without sexual immortality in a way that heal us and brings us closer to Christ. God will not be mocked, we real what we sow. If we sow to our fleshly desires then we will eventually have death but if we strive to seek Christ trusting his love for us then we will see and experience the greatest life unimaginable.
gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
@Drake, Huh? What the heck are you talking about? Matt as far as I am aware never said he no longer had same-sex inclinations nor ever mention jumping the fence as a heterosexual and getting married. He talks about his conversion which included stop having sex with dudes. Where do you guys come up with this stuff? I am assuming a ‘gay’ man speaks of chastity you comclude he is coming out straight?
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Dear Matt, I am moved by your ability to share with such openness your daily struggles. Your courage through Christ is to be commended. Scripture say…In Matt. 7:14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. This is a huge fight and by ourselves it’s not possible, but through Him who gives us strength anything is possible. Keep moving forward to the light who is our Savior. He will bring you peace….
gawker.com/5981730/christian-post-blogger-who-wrote-about-leaving-homosexuality-found-cruising-for-dudes-on-grindr
Very encouraging, thank you!
Isn’t wonderful to know that we have Jesus as our Lord & Savior! I was talking w/a friend last night & telling him that when I think back on the things I’ve done, I am so very ashamed & at the same time, so very thankful! Ashamed because ,now that I am washed clean in the blood of The Lamb of God, I can truly see how foolish & filthy & dangerous I was living! So very thankful because, I now see that God wanted me, ME, & kept death from taking me! I counted once & from about age 7 until my salvation, I slept with over 200 guys! (I know! SLUT) Now & only because God had mercy & delivered me from sexual attractions of any kind, I am able to feel real cleanness & peace! May all glory and honor and praise be Yours my Lord and my God!!
The goal brother isn’t focused on eliminating all ur sexual desires… Satan stole mine and ur masculinaty and sexual identity… God desires for you to be holy as he is not to make you heterosexual or to have no sexual desire.. God made man and woman with sexual desires but satan twists it. Perverts it. Into fornication and homosexuality.. God sometimes calls people who have struggled with homosexuality to marriage.. Some not all, for me it’s different but my best friend this is true.. And don’t ever call urself a slut ever again because God doesn’t see you like that, and it hurt me reading that, flippancy isnt the best way to express what God has done and how he heals you. I’m sure you still have wounds from all that. So why make a joke? God Bless
Anthony, I’m certainly very sorry that my off-the-wall banter upset U! It surely wasn’t my goal or design. I thank you for your candor since I value other people’s thoughts and how they respond to my thoughts. I have to learn that, not everyone takes things I say in the lighthearted manner I do. Yes there are things in my past, scares, & I can understand the quote on how wounds never completely heal but with time the pain is gone but our scars remain as a reminder. As for me, I’m convinced that God’s plan for my life is perfect & my desire is to fulfill my part, God willing. I hope we can talk more! Find me on FB at bryanmatthews1973
One thing I’d like to add Bryan, is that you no longer need to feel ashamed about things you’ve done in the past. Those thoughts come from the devil, trying to convince you that you’re not worthy. Satan is a liar and I rebuke him in the name of Jesus Christ! Jesus took all of our sin upon Himself at Calgary, but He also took all of our shame and guilt as well. God bless you brother.
My friend that I was talking with is an Army Chaplain & he said the same thing. I explained it 2 him that I’m glad that I do remember my past, even though I know I’ve been redeemed, because I can look @ how far God has brought me & remember how vast His grace & mercy reach! I want 2 always remember that I never think more highly myself lest I fall into pride or some other snare of the devil. When I remember & praise and thank the Lord, I do feel freedom and full of happiness knowing that my burdens have been lifted and my sins all covered in The Blood of Christ. I wish everyone could, just for a few minutes, the incredible presence of the Holy Ghost like I feel! If they did the churches wouldn’t be able to hold them all as they would run to the Alter to repent. Thank you for caring and for ur words of encouragement! May the peace of God be with you!
I want 2 add u as a friend but don’t know how on here so my Facebook is bryanmatthews1973
Anthony, I’m certainly very sorry that my off-the-wall banter upset U! It surely wasn’t my goal or design. I thank you for your candor since I value other people’s thoughts and how they respond to my thoughts. I have to learn that, not everyone takes things I say in the lighthearted manner I do. Yes there are things in my past, scares, & I can understand the quote on how wounds never completely heal but with time the pain is gone but our scars remain as a reminder. As for me, I’m convinced that God’s plan for my life is perfect & my desire is to fulfill my part, God willing. I hope we can talk more! Find me on FB at bryanmatthews1973
Yepper, we eat that vomit right off the finest china in the pit we have decorated with Pottery Barn and we think we are just fine. We become satisfied with taste of bile and in the stench of the pit. We don’t think there is any better because we don’t know anything can be better OR we’re content to do just enought.
I have failed and moved forward so many times that I cannot begin to count, but I am NOT satisfied in the pit, so I keep dying to self. Do I slip, trip or jump back into the pit? Yepper, sometimes. But I don’t stay there.
The most awesome news, Jesus is reaching down and pulling us out while at the same time He is IN the pit, pushing us out. HE knows the pain of the pit and the taste of the vomit because, even though he did nothing to create it, He willingly jumped in and overcame it. He is there for us, with us, instead of us. He is the source of all that I am and all that I will be. He perfects what HE started.
THAT is not only good news. It is GREAT news.
Many blessings, my brother.
Yeah Matt you for sure weren’t gay. If you were born gay which by definition meaning you’re not Christian, then don’t use a website to promote this man. I’m heterosexual and was raised in a Catholic Church (probably means I’m a worse sinner, right?) be yourself and love who you want. Don’t let a cult organized religion change who you want to be although if you aren’t attracted to men anymore, who are we kidding anyway? Don’t bother praying for a soul like me. I love Jesus but hate religion and am very spiritual by the way. Like I said be who you are, gay, straight, bi, whatever. Believe it or not God will love you for whoever you are, living in sin or “sinful lifestyle” or not.
Yep, you’re right, God loves all us sinners. That’s why He sent His only Son to die a horrific death so that our sins can be forgiven and we can experience fellowship with Him. Oh yeah, He is a Holy God and sin cannot enter His presence. That’s why He made the Way for us to come to Him through His Son. Will God put aside the sacrifice of His own Son and welcome us into His presence in our sinful condition? hardly. That wouldn’t be just, would it? Would God condemn us to a life lived in sin and bondage? Nope, He loves us too much. The truth is that sin leads to bondage, and death; but God made a way of deliverance, freedom and life everlasting. It’s each person’s choice.
Oh yeah, one more thing, if you mean “born gay” like being “born into sin” then, yes we all are. Being “born gay” with the connotation that one is “stuck” is a myth. There is no scientific evidence to prove this. In fact, evidence points to “predisposition”…well, that makes sense, since we are all born into sin and thereby “predisposed” to sin. Predisposition doesn’t pigeon-hole you for life. We have a CHOICE. If you ever get around to experiencing the FREEDOM in Christ you will be blown away. I hope you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it someday.
Still blows my mind to know that there are people like “Shirl” who still believe being GAY is a choice or a myth… As per her assertion, there is no scientific evidence to prove it… I would like to ask you this: Is there “scientific” evidence that GOD exist? No, but we still believe in it… I dare you to show us that your assertion is true!. Funny, it is always up to us (gays) to “prove” to people like you that we are born with it. However, no matter what we say, we are still wrong and sinful.
WHY would a person “choose” to be gay to go through life hiding, hating himself/herself, having a double life, losing his/her family, etc.. It is beyond me!!!! I know there are some people out there who are “confused” and can’t handle his/her reality (Matt for that matter). I invite you to get to know gay people and ask them if they chose this. If this was a matter of ‘choice’ I would guarantee you that there would not be as many gay people in the world (unfortunately for you). NOBODY wants to be discriminated; harassed; ridiculed; treated like a sub-human by people who think like you. If this was a matter of choice, nobody in Africa, Middle East and/or countries where you will be put to death if they suspect you are gay. However, gay people are still born in those places.. Yeah, I forgot… They choose that!!!!!!
“..I do hope YOU open your heart and mind to the possibility of it someday”… Get out there and don’t refuge your life on somebody else’s. Remember one thing “Your GOD is also my GOD” whether you like or not.
Josh,
How did you know that these ideas that you espoused are truth? It is a important question because we have a real enemy who pretends to be an angel of light whispering the lie that we ultimately decide what is right for ourselves. Our society promotes narcissistic individualism and It is all driven by subjective philosophies which originate naturally from our fallen sin natures which easily fluctuate with societal fads and personal determinations but God wants you to know Christ which is greater than an event or experience on this earth. God is holy so he cannot allow us in his kingdom unless we want to be free from sin which Christ has provided a way out by the way of the cross and his resurrection.
@Josh, I seem to get a kick out of folks who claim to be “spiritual” but “hate” religion. What is particularly amusing is the lapse Catholic who claims spirituality…huh? I suppose you are more comfortable reducing your relationship with God as warm fuzzy feelings, without really giving any thing back to Him. Isn’t this a self serving pseudo-religion, whose pinnacle is admiring a tree or goldfish?
@davide lol wow well said bro, were is the conviction??
Wow Matt I was so encouraged by this. Indeed God is glorified through your testimony and grace-enabled faithfulness to Him, I certainly am praising Him right now for what He has done and is doing in your life. I definitely can relate to what you said about family and friends thinking this is a temporary “feel good” type of thing. Many of my friends think I am on some religious kick; after all, it was just a year ago that I was doing all of the same things they were, only worse because I did it somehow claiming the name of Christ (I was a false convert). But God saved me from my sin and He has faithfully kept me and will continue to keep me and all of His children. God Bless you Matt.
As sinners we are created with desires for intimacy and for delight. Therefore, “The way to fight lust is to feed faith with the precious and magnificent promise that the pure in heart will see, face to face, the all-satisfying God of glory” (Future Grace, 338).
“Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne” Rev. 3:20
Matt, I found the Lord to be the same as you have. For it was He who started that first work of repentance within us, and He shall till the end of our life here, continue to “finish” that work of Faith by Grace.
Eph_2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
Php_2:13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.
Heb_12:2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.
We all have a long way to go, but it is God through the guidance of His Holy Spirit that will get us there, all because of the work of the Cross, and Jesus Christ and Him crucified!
I pray the Lord bless you continually in your walk with the Lover of your soul!
AMEN!!!!
Reblogged this on Into the Mind of a Troubled Young Man.
Thanks to the new graph search on Facebook, I can’t find your page. Even the link below your name doesn’t work. It goes straight to my newsfeed. :/
Anyway, if you need encouragement while in New Orleans, watch the Gaither DVD “I’ll Fly Away.” It was filmed at the Saenger Performing Arts Center in New Orleans in 2001 or 2002. Are you connecting with Christians there? http://store.gaither.com/dvd/i-ll-fly-away.html
I just learned they did another DVD while in New Orleans in 2002: New Orleans Homecoming. Enjoy! http://store.gaither.com/new-orleans-homecoming-1.html
This is what makes your testimony reliable! That you have endured walking in this narrow road by the saving and all-suficient grace of God. Thanks for sharing this Matt, may the Lord keep guiding you. Greetings from El Salvador, Central America.
You know he’s lying. He’s still living the homosexual lifestyle, but in the shadows. in the “Light” he basks in all the hero praise from the Christians who pick and choose their bible verses. Matt has been roaming Grinder “talking” to gay guys. He hooks up in secret full of the shame that the Christian community instilled in him, and then crawls back out to be the poster boy that the church so desires.
Matt, I am an ex-ex-gay. God does love you because He made you who you are. A beautiful, monogamous, sam-sex marriage awaits you when you’re brave enough to face who you are. It happened to me.
But you DIDN’T “leave” homosexuality, Matt. You were on Grindr just last week. I’m sorry that you’re confused and full of self-loathing, but why do you have to try to confuse other gay men with your “activism”?
greed. he yearns to be a role model of perfection, “the one that got away”. he is not, he is flawed just like everyone but he is blind.
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i’m sorry for you…truly wish that cultish belief system didnt brainwash you..
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i think your only sin is the incontrolable wish to be a role model, even if it costs your happiness. be marry, matt, be you. be gay and be the role model of happiness. i wish you all the best ’cause we all deserve to be happy.
Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker
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Hi,
I wish you could help me figure something out. My second husband left me after 4 months of marriage. Sometimes I wonder if he was gay. We met, fell madly in love ( I thought) and got married 4 months later. He wouldn’t have sex before marriage but would rarely want it after we were married. He showed no outward signs to me that he was gay. I accused him of being gay when he left and he denied it. Could he be gay and not know it? He’s 46. Old enough to know what he wants in life. Supposedly he has a gf now. > >
Mar-you are asking the wrong person. No one but your ex knows the reason. If it helps, yes, he would know if he was gay but like this poor fellow, he might be trying not be and not really caring who he hurts in the process. He could just as easily be an ordinary not nice person or you yourself might have issues. It all boils down to honesty.
Mar: I’m so sorry for your divorce. Maybe you both wanted it to end, but the death of any marriage is sorrowful. Why do you want to know if your ex is gay? Do you wish to be his friend and encourage him in his new life, or are you seeking answers for yourself? Your marriage ended, and all you can do is wish your ex the best – not for him, but for yourself. If he’s gay or not, I don’t know. I can tell you that after 40, men’s bodies begin to change. A decrees in libido is normal. But, more importantly, I wish you the best.
Matt.Why do you say that everything bad you were are because of your sexuality? Thats not true. If you were like that its because you were like that. Your sexuality didnt mean anything. Homosexual lifestyle? There are many straights that do the same thing. Is you supressing your sexuality a atempt to run away from how you were? Again are you ok with being alone all your life without a partner that loves you and that you love him? From what I read it seems like you say that your sexuality had the fault of everything when in reality you knew that it was wrong but kept doing it just because you wanted to. Your sexuality is a very small part of who you are. If you were crazy it was not because of your sexuality but because you wished to be.
Thank you so much for sharing this and so much more of your story. I got chills reading this. In a world right now where it seems like Satan is winning, it so good to read about where God is reading. I am truly thankful for your story.
Nice writing. The danger of all this for me, struggling with same sex attraction, is that I had no idea Grindr existed until your story brought it to my attention. 3 years after coming to faith in Christ and treasuring that pearl of great joy, Im struggling more now with resisting this newfound availability. Thankful for His grace.
Love who God made you. Why use Grindr when you could have a faithful, loving, monogamous relationship with someone of the same sex?
Haven’t used it, and don’t plan on using it. When I posted that Tuesday, I was in the midst of something deeper than the “horizontal” perspective of Grindr vs monogamous relationship. In the strictly horizontal sense, its unwise not to agree with you. There is now a vertical relationship that trumps that, and that is the wonder of living in Christ. The spiritual battle is real, but blessed.
Since God made you, then why fight the verticle battle? Don’t fight God.
Matt:
Having been where you were and are I would like to bring up something. Partying, getting smashed, anonymous sex is something very few people would consider good or viable regardless of faith or not. Having been out then having a powerful conversion and living a celibate passionate Christian life for 20 plus years then facing the fact that I was gay and that it was wrong to tell me I could never love another and never know true love. The reality is that most gay men do not party their guy’s out, most gay men want to be in a viable, loving relationship and want to make this world a better place. In your own subtle way you continue the demonization of gay men and lesbians by suggesting that who we are consists of partying and doing whom and whatever we want. We are much more and we consist of people who truly care and desire this world to be a better place for all and that means truly all regardless of religion, politics, sex, gender or beliefs.
Excellent comment, Jeff. i am only sorry you had such a long wait before being who you are. I have been with my husband for almost 32 years now. We don’t party, sleep around, do drugs, drink, enjoy kinky sex, or do nay of the stereotypical things we as gay men are supposed to be doing according to str8′s who don’t know gay people. It’s a bit like us assuming all str8 people cheat on their spouses and they all get married and divorced multiple times and have children they ignore. Juts because the divorce rate is over 50% doesn’t mean wem gay people think all str8 people are fickle and self centred. I have been where Matt is though and I know how agonizing it is to be there. The only release will be when he accepts himself as he is and realizes that those who keep telling him he isn’t good enough as he is are the ones with the real problem. Freedom will come when he knows in his heart that people treat him the way they do because of who THEY are and not because of who HE is. I hope you are able to set yourself free sooner rather than later, Matt. When you understand in you gut that it really is THEM and not you, you will indeed be born again and be the Matt you are meant to be and not this imitation of a man trying to be what he isn’t. You will never not be gay. Not ever. You can accept this and live a loving life or you can listen to those who hate the real you and curse who you really are and live a miserable fear filled life. I know it isn’t easy to undo this false teaching, to escape the cult mentality but it can be done. I wish I could post the photographs I use to demonstrate me when I was Xian and trying not to be me and then the me after I was truly born again and was able to ditch all the false teaching. The difference is so astounding I look like two different people.
Jeff, good reply!
I am appalled by those of you questioning what you don’t know, and that is putting it in a very patient way. This is what you people do with every topic and subject in this life, and some mock, and attempt to go after your opponent’s intelligence and what you can. When I was 10 years old, my brother found a porn tape with two girls and a guy. No need to describe this. All my brothers and myself saw it. Since that moment, I slowly became attentive, if my genitals would follow the same behavior and I became sexualized from origin of barely just 10 years old. To this day, I fight. What I fight doesn’t matter. I want to die fighting, because God is that being that pushes me like that person or persons in society do, for your own good and to reach your full potential. I will say it. God set his nature and his laws. Satan and his pondits alter it. Sometimes one human, one thought at a time. Whenever you question or make fun of God’s nature and laws, you help them trick you. They may add or subtract something they shouldn’t, as a boy not not having a paternal figure or a girl, a maternal figure, although many times, involves something they shouldn’t have seen around. The sooner you believe, the sooner you will progress in your understanding. Nobody ever stops learning. By the way, science to us, is studying what nature he created and laws he set out
I am appalled too, Jeremiah. Appalled that your are trapped in such a mindset with belief in nonsense that is so harmful to you. It is celar you are suffering but it is your beliefs that cause the suffering. I do not mock you. I feel deeply for you. I have been where you are, controlled by evil and now I am free of it and I can only hope you can be too, though I know the hope is slim because of the circular logic employed. You will see everything different, every different viewpoint, as satan trying to trick you. When one has that mindset there is little hope of recovery and deliverance. I was blessed with a good therapist who knew how to undo this damage inflicted upon me. believe me, your beliefs have been inflicted upon you, you have been tricked, but not by stand, but by evil or scared human beings who wish to control. You must know that there are many Xians who believe YOU are one fooled by satan. Muslims too feel just as fervently that YOU are fooled by stan. I do not think so at all. I just view you as a very damaged person who cries out for a peace he cannot have because every time it is offered he will see the hand of satan. I do not deny hope for you because against all the odds I am alive and happy and I too was trapped in this doublethink evil belief system. The first time I had the courage to speak about what was done to me as a child, and I was not struck down dead immediately by God, as I was told i would be if I ever told, I knew I had been fooled and very slowly over years, I was able to leave this evil belief system behind and become joyous and free. i wish the same for you and for Matt.